Why do I have little sensation from my clitoris?

Dear Curious,

When you’re searching for the answers on the pleasure map, navigating the vulva can be confusing! There could be a lot of reasons you don’t get as much pleasure when touching your clitoris! 

For some, their levels of sexual desire or arousal may contribute to how it feels. Additionally, factors like stress, fatigue, low self-esteem, and a history of sexual assault can make it more difficult to become aroused. Your clitoris could also become irritated from too much rubbing or friction, which could affect the feeling of pleasure. If you're on some medications, including some antidepressants and contraceptives, that could be the cause, too. And sometimes, there’s really nothing to blame. For some, stimulation of the clitoris just doesn’t “do it” for them, even when everything seems in order.   

Taking time to explore your body and discover what feels good for you might make touching your clitoris feel more enjoyable. Read on to learn more about arousal and how you can start prioritizing pleasure!  

What’s the relationship between clitoral stimulation, sexual desire, and arousal?  

For many people, clitoral stimulation only feels good if they’re experiencing sexual desire or arousal. Desire is an interest or motivation in sexual activity. Arousal is how someone might respond to sexual stimuli, like touch, fantasies, or erotic images. Feeling desire can trigger arousal, but being aroused first can also make someone feel desire.  

There are two types of arousal: physiological and subjective. Physiological arousal is how the body responds to sexual stimuli. For someone with a vagina, more blood will often flow to the vagina, and the clitoris might get engorged. Subjective arousal refers to the mental feeling of being sexually turned on.  

This can help explain why many people find that touching their clitoris when they aren’t already aroused isn’t necessarily pleasurable. Without sexual desire and physiological arousal, there likely won’t be an increase in blood flow to the clitoris.  

What factors might decrease sexual arousal?  

Many factors might affect sexual arousal, such as your mental health, pain, and your beliefs and experiences with sex. Things like stress, fatigue, and poor self-image can all contribute so low arousal. Additionally, people who have been raised to feel shame about sexuality or have a history of sexual abuse may find arousal more challenging.  

Some people may also feel physical pain or irritation in their clitoris, which might make it difficult to feel aroused. Checking in with these factors can help you understand your sense of pleasure. 

What other factors could influence feeling “turned on”? 

When thinking through what gets you aroused, you might take time to understand your mind as well as your body. You could ask yourself some questions like:  

• Was there a time where you really enjoyed clitoral stimulation?  

• Have you been feeling interested in sex lately?  

• Have you only tried touching your clitoris with a partner? Have you experimented on your own?  

Taking a step back to understand the whole situation might unlock some new insights.  

Sexual desire and arousal can also fluctuate through the menstrual cycle. It's common to feel less arousal during the luteal phase (roughly the last 14 days before a period), and to be more aroused around ovulation (roughly days 10 to 16 of a 28-day cycle). This has to do with how levels of hormones like estradiol and progesterone change through the cycle.  

Certain medications can also decrease sexual arousal. Many antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can decrease libido and make it harder to orgasm. Some contraceptive pills can also impact arousal. If you’re concerned about this, consider talking with a health care professional, as these side effects are often resolved by changing dosage or medication. 

How can you experience clitoral arousal?  

The best way to experience clitoral arousal is to learn what feels good for you. This can take trial and error, so it might take a few sessions before you start to feel pleasure.  

You might enjoy taking your time to get comfortable. This could include creating an environment that’s relaxing (think candles or music) or doing some deep breathing or yoga. You could start by touching other parts of your body, like your stomach and thighs, before moving to the clitoris. Many people need to fantasize, read, or watch something arousing to feel turned on. Once you’re ready to begin touching your clitoris, you might have to experiment with different levels of pressure and speed to find out what you prefer. You could also consider using a toy like a vibrator, which can help you feel aroused by increasing blood flow to the clitoris. 

You also might not like clitoral stimulation. Setting some time aside for self-exploration may help you find what brings you pleasure— whether it’s in your clitoris or other body parts!  

If you’re still not feeling pleasure and are distressed by this, you might find it helpful to work with a mental health professional, licensed sex therapist, or health care provider. They can help you address the root cause of your challenges with arousal and feel more comfortable and present in your body. 

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Curious, there’s no right way for your clitoris to feel. It takes time for some people to feel good down there. Others might discover that they find direct stimulation of their clitoris to be uncomfortable, and they prefer touch elsewhere. With a little time, attention, and relaxation, you can learn more about yourself.  

Here’s to figuring out what floats your pleasure boat!